When they couldn't even catch a cold....

A string of calamitous goalkeeping errors made the opening weekend of the EPL an entertaining one, if not for the fans at least for the cliche heavy commentators.

After a long arduous June - July where the fatigue of the World Cup had incessantly crept in, the Premier League finally returned, albeit with a mixed bag of nuts in its first week of action....

Mr James.... You've got company...

As Pepe Reina and Tim Howard cost both sides of the Mersey to lose early season points with their David James impersonations, two of England's vintages of the Mclaren era couldn't resist a chance to prove how completely and utterly rubbish Mclaren was and probably is at picking English players. Maybe (and just maybe) Kirkland can blame the departure of Titus "Mr Reliable" Bramble for his performance. Either that or he enjoys being the sole receipant of Wigan's Mr Liability Award this Season. Nothing good can be said of the gap-toothed wonder who supposedly plays in goal for West Brom. I just think Carson wants the reel of How-Not-to-Position-Yourself-As-a-Goalkeeper DVD all to himself...

The boy's all Hart
The former Head-Boy had with Birmingham shown why he is rated as one of the best keepers in the English game (after matchday one's performances, it's not hard to see why). But it took a plucky non-scarfed Roberto Mancini to pencil Hart's name ahead of Given. Hart played a blinder and Given has thrown his toys out of the pram..

Aside from Hart, City's bunch of mercenaries brought together by a promise of cash had a poor first outing. The midfield was too far down the field and I still can't figure out where David Silva was playing.

But with Bolatelli and Milner having just signed, City have a formidable squad of individuals. Unless Mr Mancini gets it right (insert no "I" in team speech here), City will continue to be nothing more than a collection of very wealthy footballers.

Team on a budget? Who cares... they have Ian Holloway

£10,000.00!!! That's the weekly salary cap at Blackpool. That's even less than what perma-crocked Rio Ferdinand earns in a day.

The scoreline didn't flatter Blackpool but has confirmed the suspicion that Wigan are as woeful as ever (even after discarding Bramble).

The only disappointing thing about the win was the lack of Ollie-sque quotes from Ollie himself. Well, there's still a long way to go...

Old habits die hard...

The old adage that form is temporary while class is permanent is a rather tired one... As cliches go, Paul Scholes' performance against Newcastle just goes to prove that you can't teach old dogs new tricks. They just repeat the same old trick over and over again... but my oh my, what tricks these old dogs get up to...

The win aside, Manchester United clearly need the following:

1. A replacement for Scholes (you cant' expect to see him pinging 60 yard balls like that when he's 45 do you?)

2. Better finishing; and

3. A plane to get Wayne Rooney back from South Africa...